I wish it could have turned out differently.
Walking through a divorce has been the hardest path I ever had to take. Feelings of rejection and brokenness flooded my heart and mind as I asked, “Why isn’t he fighting for us?” Maybe for you, it is not a failed marriage but a broken friendship or a shattered relationship with a family member.
What do you do when reconciliation is not an option? I just recently listened to the Proverbs 31 podcast on this subject, and it really stirred up some past emotions. Maybe you are in the middle of these hard emotions right now, so I wanted to offer some insight as I have been reflecting.
God wants us to take responsibility for our part.
If I am completely honest, I use to be a huge reactor in my marriage, like a time bomb ready to explode. My intense words came from a place of deep hurt in my heart but instead of expressing my pain, I would just erupt in anger. This was wrong of me, and I had to own my part. With years of counseling, I have learned to identify the emotion behind the anger. Friends, you are only responsible for you. You cannot control what someone else says or does, but you can control your response to it.
God wants us to forgive the other person for their part.
Offering forgiveness can be very difficult especially when the person has deeply hurt you. As I have learned more about forgiveness, I realize it is not a one-time thing. Daily, we have to turn over our hurt, disappointment and anger to God and ask him to give us the strength to forgive. I think Satan does everything in his power to try to keep us in a place of unforgiveness because he wants us stuck in bitterness and resentment. However, when we choose to forgive and give grace to someone that has wronged us and hurt us, we experience freedom and Satan is at a loss.
God wants to heal our broken hearts, redeem our pain, and use it to help someone else.
After my divorce, I felt like a failure. Not only had my marriage failed but I felt like I have failed God. I believed that my brokenness had rendered me “un-usable” by God. This was untrue. Maybe you are also believing a lie that is untrue. I want to encourage you to replace this lie with truth: your brokenness does not disqualify you, your brokenness qualifies you even more.
When you place your broken pieces in the hands of Jesus, He can use them in ways you never thought possible. Not only will He heal your broken heart, but he will use you and your broken story to offer healing to someone else. He can redeem your hurts and pains in a beautiful way.
God specializes in using broken stories for His greater purpose!
Friends, this brings me such hope! My prayer is that it brings you hope too. Hope that your broken story is not the end. Hope that God can heal your broken heart and use your story. Hope that even when reconciliation is not possible, redemption with God is possible.